Working With Your Child's School

Sometimes parents with children who are struggling begin to wonder if the classroom or school placement is working for their child. Parents want their child to be successful.  So what is the best way to make sure the student's needs are being met?

A good place to start is by recognizing that your child's school and teachers are professionals with loads of experience. After all, these people spend everyday of the school year teaching, managing difficult behaviors and assisting young people with building self-confidence and emotional resiliency. If you compare the amount of time children spend with teachers to the amount of time spent with counselors or other specialists, it's clear that right behind parents, teachers are in a position to help your son or daughter the most. 

Despite this truth, sometimes war breaks out between parents and schools. This is unfortunate, because while parents may feel cathartic relief, children spend their days with the enemy. In the end, things probably get worse and judging, labeling & bullying end up being the examples that young people learn. 

That's not to say that you shouldn't assert your rights and teach children to be assertive. If you don't see that things will get better, then work to get them in a better place. But remember that it can be beneficial to try and work through issues before you declare war.

The following is a short list of best practices to improve teacher parent relationships:

• Remember what’s in the best interest of your child. If you remember this, it may be easier to avoid power struggles with schools. 

• Take responsibility for your feelings and rather than saying something like “This class is really messed up” try something like, “I am nervous about his ability to focus in the open structure, can you explain how he will do it?” 
• Find genuine things you like about the classroom or teacher and let them know. 
• If you don't like everything about the teacher or the classroom, consider that life is not perfect and this is the beginning of your student's ability to accept this truth? Be positive and help your student learn to navigate these environments. 
• Ask what you can do at home to piggy back on what your son or daughter is doing in class. This will help your child's life be more consistent and predictable. 
• Figure out what communication method works best between you and the teacher. You are both busy, so maybe email or text message is best. On the other hand, if you and the teacher don't seem to be on the same page, it may be best to speak in person or by phone.
• Remember that your child spends most of their time at school and that this is where they are learning to make their own choices, focus, be social, take direction and so on. Your child’s school is an amazing resource to be nurtured.

Keeping some of these thoughts in mind when you communicate with your child's teacher might help make the school experience better for you and better for your child!